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The Hierophant in the centre of the Matrix of Destiny

Mechanics. At the centre is a teacher, even if you never teach. You have a position, and it can be heard: how it is done properly, how it is customary, what must not be done. People come for your opinion and get it in full, with examples and background, and you honestly do not understand why someone who asked "what do you think?" is looking at their phone ten minutes later. In a group where you are the youngest by age, you will still be put in charge. What is read is solidity: with you, nobody gets lost, you know how things are arranged and can explain the complicated so that a nephew understands.

Works when you pass things on: teach, mentor, keep a tradition, introduce a newcomer to the profession. Around you people stop panicking, because they receive a rule to hold on to while they are frightened. In a year that newcomer works alone, in five they repeat your very phrases to their own interns, not remembering where they came from, and that is the one form of immortality that certainly exists.

Breaks when the rule becomes dearer than the living person. "Should", "that's not done", "in decent families" begin, and a close friend who came to tell you about their divorce hears, instead of support, an analysis of their mistakes over the last two years. The second breakdown is quieter: other people's dogmas instead of your own. You defend a belief you have never checked, because it was handed to you at fourteen along with the school uniform. Checking it is frightening: if the rule turns out to be someone else's, you will have to decide all over again how to live, and at forty that is an expensive rebuild, so it is easier to defend what you were given.

What it looks like:

• A friend tells you about a divorce, and you are already running through how they should have acted the autumn before last.
• In an argument you cite "how it's done", and cannot say who exactly decided that.
• Younger colleagues come to you for advice but gossip with someone else: people go for advice to the one who knows, and live next to the one who will not judge.

What to do.

1. Before giving advice, ask whether advice is wanted. A three-second pause changes the conversation.
2. Take one conviction of your own and test it: where did it come from, does it work today, who does it serve?
3. Learn from someone younger. Anything at all. It cures fastest.

Takeaway: you are heard as the elder; an elder is valuable as long as they keep learning.