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The Sun in the centre of the Matrix of Destiny

Mechanics. You are seen. You walk into a room and attention turns toward you by itself, with no effort on your part, and if you are also in a good mood, within ten minutes the conversation revolves around you and people like it. You are read as open and clear: no second bottom, no intrigue, what you think is what you say. Children and dogs come to you first. That is not a metaphor, it literally happens, and by this sign people judge a person faster than by a CV. It gets warmer near you. Your presence lifts the mood of a whole room, and so you are invited even where you have no business.

Works when you need to be the face: stage, teaching, sales, public work, work with children, any task where it matters that a person wants to come over. You know how to praise sincerely and on time, which is rare. People become braver near you and do better than they know how, simply because somebody is finally looking at them. A pupil you praise once in front of everyone remembers that minute for twenty years and gives it as the reason they did not quit.

Breaks when the need for attention becomes stronger than you. Silence is taken as rejection, no reaction to a message as a verdict, and you start trying for two: joking, performing, paying for everyone, just to keep the spotlight from going out, and after such an evening an emptiness settles in at home that there is nothing to explain it with. The second failure is milder: you show everything good and hide what is hard, and those close to you learn about problems last.

What it looks like:

• In a group photo you are in the centre, though you do not deliberately stand there.
• A message left unanswered for half a day spoils the whole day, and you manage to invent explanations for three lifetimes ahead before the person replies that they were in a meeting.
• Friends learn about your troubles at third hand and take offence that they did not hear it from you.

What to do.

1. Once a week, spend an evening where you are not the centre. Listen, do not perform.
2. Tell those close to you about the bad the same day, without waiting for it to sort itself out.
3. Separate attention from love. There is a lot of the first and little of the second; mixing them up is costly.

Takeaway: you are always seen; check whether your light warms the three people who are there on a bad day.